A Personal Consideration

Since I was young I liked my hair. Barrettes, bandanas, hair pins. If I could convince my mother that it was worth her arm strength and time, I got her to do my hair with decoration. I still like decoration, but I do my own hair now and realize the heroic efforts she went through.

Something I never did tell anyone was that I liked covering my hair too. Bandanas were a fan favorite, especially in middle school when I really didn’t know how to handle my hair and was often too lazy to bother with it. Whether I had braids or plaits, a ponytail or had it out, I liked to pin my hair up and back or cover it. When I got older I started to notice others covering their hair too. Of course, most were doing it for religious reasons, but their scarves and hijab were cute and chic.

I never thought much about how or why I’d like to cover my hair. Now I know more. It’s cute and fun, or it looks that way to me and I’ve always covered my hair for those reasons (or to hide a bad or lazy hair day). I’ve covered once or twice for religious purposes, after all long, curly hair can get in your way and isn’t safe when working with candles. I liked it the couple times I did it. I see more examples, cultural and religious, and love it more. For the most part I really can’t explain why I have this affection and desire to cover. None of my gods have asked for it (though they also aren’t opposed) and I don’t really have a moral imperative since I dress modestly and behave similarly as a personal affect. Still, I have certainly seen many fashionable and beautiful styles and have been learning more about the religious and cultural reasons that people cover their hair.

My only hesitation is others. Non-religious covering, especially cultural or “random” covering, is largely ignored and therefore unknown as a thing in America. More than enough people don’t even know that it isn’t just Muslims who cover. Really I just don’t want to explain myself to anyone but Z and my sister about why I’ve got on a head covering. Especially my grandparents, who don’t even know I’m not Christian anymore.

I think covering would be fun, except perhaps figuring out what to do with my hair beneath it, but then again I barely know what to do with it any other time so it won’t be much of a change. I also think it would be nice to do to protect myself from the energy of others. As a public transiter I find my personal space squished and smushed as well as other auras and energies barging into mine. I’m still fairly bad at shielding and warding my person (though I can ward others and places just fine), and it could be a nice experiment. I got that idea from someone else by the way. On another note, I think it could potentially help ease my crowd anxiety. I’ve been accosted a few times in public and I have issues with intrusive, repetitive thoughts. I like light, close things, they are calming to me, hence my love of hugs from people I associate as protective.

While we’re on the topic of hair, I want to get mine cut fairly short. It’s currently mid-back to waist length and I’ve never had it short. It’s quite curly so I can’t look to my twin who has shoulder length hair but a completely different texture. Really I’d like mine to be chin-length. That’s quite a difference for me. I likely will start with shoulder length to get an idea for how it will behave. I’m looking forward to that change.