So, today I was having a crisis (not technically “today” since it started around 1am). One of my friends is in dire need right now, and there’s not much more I can do to help. She’s in a suicidal state and I’m afraid I may lose her. There will be a phone call in the morning to check on her, but there’s only so much I can do now. However, this means sleep is not forthcoming. As such, I grabbed my tarot cards.
Now, it’s a replacement deck because my last Shadowscapes essentially committed seppuku. I don’t know why they didn’t like me, that deck just never gave me anything useful or nice or at least sensical. So, I bought a replacement deck. The difference lies in the details however, because my original deck I purchased online, but my replacement deck I bought at a metaphysics shop. It was surrounded by other decks, incense, books, and various items of spirituality and tended by a staff of caring people with caring owners. It’s very lovely and very friendly. I’m glad I bought it there. I decided to take cues from SatSekhem and use them to communicate with Anpu, and later Set and probably Sekhmet, as well as just for myself with no particular deity being bothered. It will be multipurpose until I can afford other decks. It doesn’t seem to mind so far.
I grabbed it with the explicit purpose of talking with Anpu. I was upset (still am) and needed to be sure that I heard Him clearly when asking Him my questions. And quite frankly I was slightly surprised and very, very happy when He responded very clearly. I asked what was the best way for me to help my friend through her crisis, and I got a realistic answer: be honest and truthful, be vigilant, be ready to draw on inner strength. I asked again and got a pretty similar answer. He wasn’t making promises in this situation, which I can appreciate.
Out of frustration, I asked if He loved me and cared about me. Then I went to shuffle and it failed. I bridge my cards, that’s how I learned to shuffle, that’s how I always shuffle. As anyone who shuffles this way knows, it doesn’t always work, the cards don’t overlap or they won’t push together and you have to pull them apart and try again or they go all over the place. Well, I fail shuffled in the former way. I also noticed I was shuffling the cards face up, and saw two cards and instinct went that’s His answer.
My question: Do you love me? Do you care?
My answer: Yes. King of Swords, Six of Cups.
King of Swords says: “like the vertical sword he holds at the ready, he is a pillar of strength and morality. A warrior king, his sword is always drawn, and he is prepared to spring into action.”
My mind and heart immediately went YES THAT’S IT. Anpu is telling me yes, that He will be like the king of swords.
Six of Cups says: “a reminder of childhood innocence, good intentions, noble impulses, simple joys and pleasures.” I am still trying to puzzle this one out honestly, but I get the feeling that Anpu is implying He’s been around for a while in my life.
I took some time to think and calm down and be comforted by the clear and direct answers I just got before repeating the first question I had. How do I help my friend? Queen of Cups, Seven of Cups and Ten of Pentacles. Still torn on how to interpret those cards.
So I chilled out some more and decided to ask a different question, for myself. “How do I improve my relationship with TB and make sure it’s happy and healthy for the very long term (specifically, until we die)?” I did this reading three times.
Ace of Swords, Knight of Swords, Six of Swords
Page of Swords, Two of Pentacles, Ace of Swords
Five of Swords, Two of Pentacles, Ace of Swords
Obviously the Ace of Swords had something to say to me! XD So, I sat it aside and asked it “what truth are you trying to reveal?” (or rather, what truth is being obstructed?). I drew the Ten of Wands, which is about overextending, being overwhelmed, doing things the hard way. Being thoroughly baffled I asked if this card was saying that this overextension and overwhelming was obstructing my long term relationship happiness. I drew the King of Cups. Ok, seems I’m on to something, since the King of Cups is about wisdom and understanding and patience. I asked how can I remove the obstacles to a healthy, happy relationship with TB and drew the Nine of Wands. Vigilence.
Temperance also jumped out during a shuffle fail while I was thinking of the question. The Two of Pentacles runs along a similar vein as Temperance, both cards are about balance and flexibility. Temperance, specifically, says: “harmony and equilibrium, balancing of opposites, healing. Moderation of extremes, self-restraint, harnessing absolute forces and reining them in to be wielded for a purpose. Holding opposites apart from one another denies their power of unity.” So yeah. It seems to be suggesting a lot, I’m still not sure how to interpret all of it, especially with the Page, Six and Five of Swords mixed in, but it seems helpful what I’ve gleaned so far.
Did another reading, this time with the question “How can I ensure a long, healthy, happy relationship with TB?” Got King of Pentacles, The Emperor, and, guess what, Ace of Swords. I asked it “what’s the obstacle in the way of the truth you’re trying to reveal?” and drew, the Wheel of Fortune. Umm, can someone tell me why I’m getting all these major arcana? O.o
King of Pentacles: “He(referring to the card) is an enterprising individual, a man possessing multifarious talents. He has the golden touch of Midas.” (TB is a lot like the King of Pentacles, but I’m not sure if I should apply this to him since I was asking what I could do to make things go well.)
The Emperor: “Creating order out of chaos, authority, leadership, strength, establishing law and order. The Emperor is a man rooted in his ways and views and regimens but confidant that this is the right structure and way of things.”
Wheel of Fortune says:”Destiny–the weaving of life’s threads coming together, fate, turning points, movement and change, patterns and cycles, an interconnected world.”
I asked the Ace of Swords again “what is the truth you’re trying to reveal?” and got Ten of Pentacles.
Ten of Pentacles: “Enjoying affluence and being able to appreciate luxury and the good fortune that has befallen you. The ultimate in worldly success, the result of long-term efforts.”
Finally I asked the Ace of Swords “how is the Wheel of Fortune a hindrance to the Ten of Pentacles? How is it an obstacle?” and drew The Hermit.
The Hermit: “Being introspective, seeking solitude, withdrawing from the world and giving or receiving guidance.”
Still baffled, I asked the Ace what this meant for my relationship. The Seven of Wands fell out face up when I was shuffling and I drew the Ace of Pentacles.
Seven of Wands: “Take a stand, defend what you believe in. The world is full of strife and stiff competition and one must have the courage in facing the difficulties that come.”
Ace of Pentacles: “The possibility of prosperity, abundance and security. It is the promise of wealth and well-being, of flourishing and of reaping the rewards of hard work.”
I think, for now, I’ll hold off on the interpretations. If any of you have any ideas, feel free to have a go at it 😀 but, I see positive things in the future, so that gives me hope and some ease.