Coin Toss

“Last I checked, your entire practice was about being dual-natured.”

Anpu has thrown me for a loop, as one might expect from the Master of Secrets. The conversation that led to the above statement was about learning healing magic from someone who is rather destructive and possesses powerful abilities to take things apart. Of course, being a smartass about learning healing from an unlikely source to a god who is Himself a contradiction in terms and fairly sassy would get me a decent comeback. (In fact he even went *cough* god of death, healing god *cough* really obnoxiously)

This begs the question, what exactly is the dual nature of my practice? I honestly have no idea. Humans are not dual-natured, at least, not continuously. As a species we tend to be rather dichotomous. Either/or, this or that, here or there, black or white. If I am right then you must be wrong, if neither of us are right there must not be an answer, etc, et al. Humans don’t deal with gray or both answers. We are not very good at being dual-natured, though we are quite good at being dichotomous (you can see this when you consider the way small children think. You are either all good or all bad at that particular moment, they believe you are there or you are not, you are nice or you are mean, they cannot consider the world as being both yes and no at the same time until they get older and are taught).

I think part of this is that I don’t really have a…purpose of sorts to my practice. I am not “doing” anything besides worship and going about daily business. I’m a bit of a busybody and get easily bored, throw in a not-always-advantageous brain (like right now, it refuses to cough up the word I really want and keeps giving me advantageous instead) and I can’t focus easily. I don’t know what Anpu means by saying my practice is dual-natured, what’s so double-sided about it? Something about Him is the key to this particular puzzle. Him and his plans.

Of course, this also makes me wonder if I could choose the nature of my practice. What would I choose? Even as I consider it, I think in dichotomies. Separate categories, opposites, instead of continuums, venn diagrams. For instance, thinking of Anpu’s comment made me think, well healer and warrior, but I’m not a warrior (upon thinking that I heard uproarious laughter). But what else? What else can I do? What else do I like? What else could I stand? I will have to think about this.

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