I am on Spring Break this week, which is good because I am tired. Tuesday evening I had a bit of a breakdown. Essentially I’ve been diagnosed with another psych disorder and was hospitalized for about five days. I’m home now, but it wasn’t fun being in the hospital. I have a bunch of follow up appointments to do and still have to deal with school. Once again, lucky for me this happened right before spring break. I still have to catch up on work, which is ok for now. My new challenge is to get a handle on my anxiety so this new turn in my life doesn’t break it apart. Anyone who suffers from anxiety knows what a struggle that can be at times. It’s hard not to get overwhelmed.
On a different note, Aset is back. She practically zoomed into the hospital room when Dapper finally found Her and told Her what was going on with my health. Ironically, it is now Anpu that is distant. I don’t know how that happened, all I really remember is all three of them being nearby while I was half conscious from the medication they gave me in the hospital. Specifically, I remember Aset running into the room and holding my hand, while Anpu and Dapper stood back. I’m pretty sure she turned around and yelled at Anpu, but I don’t know much more than that. I also had a dream-hallucination-whatever. In it a man with red hair and matching beard, styled very medieval-y, and in armor walked by me. He invited me to follow him and I did, to a humongous arena. The stands were full of people who were essentially mannequins. They all looked the same, especially the men, who were decorated in all manner of fedoras and vests and sports coats. Although the crowd was cheering wildly, and the stadium was literally brightly lit from the people as much as the sun the man wasn’t happy. He wasn’t unhappy though, but his armor shone and sparkled. I made mention of the ridiculous fanfare and realized this was no netjeru. He drew a large and glistening sword and I made more sarcastic remarks about fanfare. He rolled his eyes and made agreeing comments about how annoying this all was.
We made our way to a park, him all shiny and exuding light with his armor and sword, and he sat at a bench near some trees and a dark, narrow, overgrown path. He leaned back and sighed, swinging his arm and sword over the back, where their light was greedily swallowed by the shadows and darkened.
Apparently he walks in the light and kills in the dark, but sometimes he walks the dark and kills the light. I have no idea who this is, but I do know it relates to Zolfyer in some fashion. There were other images, including me “casting a spell” to create a barrier for myself. I very vaguely remember Z holding my hand, and other people were in the room as well, and I did the same thing, literally whispering gibberish to cast a barrier spell to protect him. He said that he was confused about that, because he had heard me muttering in a sort of quiet singing and couldn’t figure out if I was trying to say anything. I actually wasn’t. Even in my delirium I knew I wasn’t making sense, but there was still purpose and power behind it. I also yelled at something to quit walking and running around my room. Apparently I yelled that out loud because Z confirmed it.
I got back home on Saturday and slept for a good while. Probably a total of 12 hours, though not all at once. Sunday had my nephew and sister over with my mom. That was great, though I was still tired. Sunday night was fine, and it included Dapper’s daughter telling me I should bring Z back to play because “he’s funny.” Dapper stayed in the room for most of the night. I had a strange dream involving the Simpsons (a show I despise and never, ever watch) and this quest to get glass paperweights that smoothly magnified words. They were from the dollar store and I have no idea why I was so interested in having them. Nothing I was reading or trying to read was illegible without them. I also bought a hell of a lot of candy in this dream. Every time I was out I stopped in a store and bought chocolate and little, random things. This all was occurring because I was taking some sort of adult class. The most confusing thing had to be a particular person being in this class with me. She gave me a Country Crock container (yes, I’m talking about the butter brand) and told me this kickass quote that was from Aset. It had to do with being one and Her caring about me. I have no clue, dialogue is always lost, especially since I went flailing about without writing it down. Anyway, this country crock container is empty, and when I open it I can hear Aset’s voice and I realize she’d like a prayer-offering box like the one Anpu has. I write, sloppily, “For Aset” inside of it with a Sharpie and have held it since. Something happened involving this awkward Simpson’s theme and then I was in a forest.
A small creature (a tiny little Charmander) was being chased by three adults and their fully evolved dragon types (Garchomp, Tyrannitar and Salamance). They were chasing it because, and I figured this from a sign, the fire types in the forest needed to be culled (and preferably exterminated) because there had been a lot of fires. One of them basically used Surf and the poor baby Charmander got swept up and slammed into a tree. I caught it and ran off with it, finding a random ass table in a clearing (or maybe I manifested it) to try and revive it. For anyone who doesn’t know anything about Charmander, if the fire on its (and any of its evolutions) tail goes out, it dies. It’s a really cruel and painful way to kill it, especially a Charmander smaller than an infant. It was gasping as its tailfire sputtered out and I put all of my focus into relighting its flame and reviving it. I barely managed to save it and it gasped and coughed. I cradled it as the three men and their dragon pokemon came upon the clearing. I commanded my Pokemon (a Meganium) to kick their asses. It did, using a move called Dragon Tail (dragon types are weak to Dragon types) and by slamming them around with Vine Whip. My Meganium also attacked the men and then flung them all off into the forest. Did I mention that I wasn’t actually “me” in this part of the dream?
I don’t even know guys. For those interested, the Simpson’s nonsense in the dream revolved around this thought that Homer was a twin whose parents neither cared nor were interested enough to even give them separate names. Even their middle names were the same. It made no sense and was more than a little creepy, especially since the twin Homers were talking, naked infants and I had to find them after they somehow ran away. It was so awkward. There was also a short bit about Scratchy (and gods I really hate the Itchy and Scratchy Show) and that happened right after I saved the Charmander. My brain is so confuzzled. In the meantime, I’m just trying not to literally drive myself crazy again.