So, a couple weeks ago I had an interesting thing happen. For over a month I had been having very curious dreams. Teaching, fighting, arguing, traveling, things I don’t normally do in dreams. This all started before I moved out, and then I had some quiet nights until I restarted my personal practice. That’s when he showed up.
It is my experience that every writer has at least one stock character. The description and personality is fairly steady from story to story, though names and circumstances and nuances may change. I have such a character, typically I call him Ezekiel, though he has other names. I created a guardian spirit that looks like him and charged it with protecting my sleep because I had had some nightmares and dreams of imposters. No big deal, just had to remember to feed him every once in a while. Well, he sort of disappeared. I figured it was just evaporation, though I still felt shreds of his presence.
Then someone who looked quite like said guardian showed up. I helped him three times doing all sorts of kooky shit in my dreams and he introduced himself with a name that starts with a D. I can’t for the life of me remember it, but he accepted Dapper. During these dreams I saw him change forms into a wolf (something Ezekiel could do) and show me his magic. I described the encounters to Aubs and Devo because they have astral and spirit experience that I do not. I also got a very weird and indistinct vibe from Dapper that he had eaten my guardian. He neither confirms nor denies, but when I reach for Z I get Dapper. It’s weird, because Z is not here but it feels like he is.
On top of that I asked another friend of mine to see if she could find out anything about Dapper. After all, not only is she a fellow Jackal kid, but I have little experience in discerning with spirits. She told me that I have nothing to fear from the spirits I’ve been noticing. One is a messenger and I may not be ready for its message. She also saw a clawed spirit, and, upon asking Anpu about it, got told to mind her business. However, He was rather nonplussed about its existence and seemed to have been aware of it before then. She also said it seemed like it just wanted to be close to me like several other spirits which apparently float near me. I’m a little blind, deaf and dumb, so I have no clue what she’s talking about. But hey, god isn’t bothered, so I suppose I can relax a little.
Aubs says it sounds like I caught the astral bug. I don’t think I’m really prepared for that, nor do I really want it. Sure, her and Devo’s stories are fantastical and unique, but they’re also crazy and terrifying and I really don’t want to get my brain munched. I can’t say I’m really ready for that, but I get the sense it not only doesn’t matter, but is necessary to happen. Not sure why, but apparently I might get my head bust open. Fun shit. Still, I wonder intensely where Dapper came from, what he wants and how he found me. I also wonder what this means for my sanity and my practice. Only time will tell I guess.