Jackal Tarot

I’ve been thinking about religion all week. Not in any significant detail mind you, but I just have. I’ve also been a bit frustrated about several things, work, school, conversations with my mom, and not being able to go to shrine. Work itself is not frustrating, it’s actually surprisingly fun, but I dunno, I guess I’m just frustrated that I have to go this route. I don’t know. School is going to be starting soon, which is fine, but I can tell the only reason I’ll go to saturday class is because it’s the psych class. Nevertheless, I now have three classes, which I’m happy about and they’re all online.

I won’t comment much on the frustrating conversations with my mom except that I know she’s only saying most things out of love, though if she keeps talking shit about TB I will have to cut her deep. I’m really very annoyed that she keeps disparaging him and not even with good logic. It’s just, I don’t even know, but she rarely just says good things and leaves it that way, she’s always got to toss something negative in there or say everything negative. Like, is she trying to get me to hate and resent him? Because it seems that way. The whole issue Z and I are going through with money and jobs is just giving her more perceived ammo that she’s trying to use to “protect” me. I don’t know what her problem is but I’m sick of dealing with this two-faced bullshit and vitriol she spews out about Z and about our relationship. Newsflash ma, Z is not my dad, I am not you and we both have different desires, agreements, expectations and reasoning on a variety of subjects than you. Just because I ask you for money instead of him doesn’t mean that we have a dynamic where I can give him money but he can’t give any to me. He hates being penniless and taking money from me and most of the time when he has money I get almost anything I ask for. So shut up.

Anyway, I may need to talk to the Jackal about how best to handle my mother and talk to her. Last night I was thinking vaguely about my shrine and Anpu and got the nudge that He wanted to talk. Ok, He often nudges that He wants to talk but I often don’t know the best way to hear what He’s saying. I wanted to talk too so I wasn’t opposed to trying something. I went upstairs and pulled out my tarot cards and basically said “what’s up?”

Well that tarot conversation was very interesting. It was also quite revealing. Anpu said a lot there. Apparently, I should not worry about the future, the material future, because it is secure. Whatever is supposed to happen will happen regardless of what I might have in mind or could ask about. Even when I asked for elaboration I received the same card as well as the eight of cups. Now, the eight of cups is about turning away from the material to focus on the spiritual, so basically “don’t fret over the mundane stuff, that’s already been taken care of and will happen regardless, it is secure, so focus on the spiritual.” When I asked Him to elaborate on how I should focus on the spiritual, I basically got don’t get caught up and tripped up by trivial things, be creative and be patient. And then I got be patient for wisdom and understanding. Creativity seems to be the main way I’ll improve my spiritual life. I got four Major Arcana during this conversation, The Star, The Sun, The Empress and The High Priestess, all related to this thing about focusing on the spiritual and not worrying about the mundane.

I then asked why Z can’t get a job. Well, I was told just two things about that situation, he’s supposed to be learning about The Star, and to mind my business. I had the Seven of Swords tossed at me when I tried to press, basically if I keep trying to find out I’ll be stealing his learning from him. Somehow, I don’t know. Either way the best intentions are at work here. Well, now to think of creative ways to focus on my spirituality I guess? I don’t even know where to start though lol Well, I guess I’ll have to figure it all out.


6 thoughts on “Jackal Tarot

  1. I’m supposed to be learning about “The Star” huh? What exactly is this “star” and what does it have to do with me? How does it relate to my job search? So far from understanding that statement that I don’t even know what to do with it.

    On another note, I asked you not to ask her for money darling. I don’t like asking people for money, which is why I was willing to forgo my phone bill this month until that client came around with that offer to do a logo. It just gives her ammunition to use against me; and as much as I love her I feel like she’s always judging so i’d rather not give her that ammunition.

    And on a final note; you could always try and draw something or build something with your hands for Him. Perhaps something like pottery or something; or maybe even do some yoga that is specifically designed to help connect with spiritual beings; like how that one yoga helped put me to sleep that night I was antsy from the medicine you gave me.

    • The Star is a Major Arcana lol I’ll get the link with the definition and yeah, I know about the money. We already talked about that lol It is aggravating that she always seems to be looking for a reason to disparage you.

      I have no idea about the yoga, but that is a fantastic idea. I still have a couple crochet projects that are supposed to be for Anpu, but they’re difficult and require a lot of carefulness and concentration. I was thinking maybe painting, but I don’t think I have any paper for that. I might, but maybe they’ll have something at the school store :3 Thank you for the ideas

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s