Cracks

I read a blog post by a friend the other day and I have to say I’m unhappy. I’m the sort of person who strives to see their friends and family happy and cared for and is very protective. She, currently, is none of these things. I haven’t known her very long, true, but I do care and it sucks major fucking ass that she’s so far away that I can’t just barge in with cookies and hugs. I’m tired of seeing her suffer and I’m tired of watching her fall through the cracks.

What is wrong with people? What is wrong with the Kemetic community, with any community? Why reject someone who is clearly of value? Why ignore and turn away, or worse, abuse and demean, another person? Why destroy them or do nothing to help them? I don’t understand how so many can talk about helping others and becoming a stronger community, when those thrown to the shadows and those too quiet and meek to reach out are ignored or even chased away? How can you chase people away? How can you completely ignore and be oblivious to someone calling out for help and friendship, and out your ass talk about the community being terrible? It is unacceptable that someone should feel so alone and helpless that they cannot even fathom what it must be like to be part of a group!

What, the, fuck? Now, I’m not yelling at everyone here. We’re human, we make mistakes, sometimes it’s impossible to see those forced into the corner, in the alley, in the dark, but shouldn’t we at least make an effort to look? Shouldn’t we at least reach out when we DO see the lonely? Shouldn’t we make an effort not to talk over and forget those who are soft-spoken, shy, and easily frightened? Should we not be persistent with those who have difficulty reaching out, especially when they do reach out?

My friend should not be so alone, she should not be falling through so many holes and cracks. She has suffered from the cracks in humanity for a long time and still suffers. She is depressed and on the verge of giving up. Giving up her practice, giving up her hope. She is swamped in doubts and pain and confusion. There is so much static that she can hear no god and is losing faith that she ever heard them. This is unacceptable, and it is fucking bullshit that I can do little about it. I just want her to get the happiness she deserves and is worthy of. She’s a wonderful person, a lovely, awesome, delightful person. I just don’t understand how anyone could leave her out. Stop doing it, stop leaving people out. If they aren’t clearly lunatics or dicks, then there’s really little excuse. We are social animals, people die for lack of love, for lack of affection, for lack of community. And yet she and others are constantly rejected.

I think it’s time to pave the cracks. Look for the quiet people who have a hard time being social and articulate. Be friendly, offer help and friendship. Do fucking ma’at people. Who gives a shit whether Aset is a mystical rainbow goddess or not? Who cares if Anubis is an alien? Don’t be a dick. DON’T BE A GODSDAMNED DICK. Help people, be kind, welcome the misfits, the lonely, the lost, the searching. If they aren’t lunatics or dicks, there’s no reason to exclude them or stomp them or anything. Support each other, be encouraging. Disagree respectfully. Kindness. I’m not a “love and light” pagan or whatever. I’m pretty blunt, I can be downright belligerent and sour. I believe that there is a time and place for nastiness, violence, and cutting words, but there is a TIME and a PLACE. I do not believe in exclusion, not if someone is kind and helpful and has something to add. If they are not bad people and are not dicks and they are not dangerously unstable then why leave them out?

My friend is kind, helpful and has so much to add. But she’s been so shunned in her life and in the community that she doesn’t believe that. I love reading what she writes. I see her soul and mind bared and feel what she seeks to communicate. Her writing is not clinical or academic, but at times that is not appropriate anyway. I read her work to find her heart, because in the end that is what religion is about. Or that’s what it’s supposed to be about, in my opinion. Her heart is bright to me and I want to understand and have that same brightness. She shares her experience, her thoughts and feelings and I can understand that I am not alone in my struggles. I know I’m not the only one who gains insight and encouragement from her writing. I wish deeply for her to keep writing and to keep going. She struggles and I do not want it to be in vain. How many others struggle in loneliness and silence? How many others swim in pain and doubt and do not realize their value and worth?

It’s time to fix the cracks. Shiney I love you girl, don’t give up.

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