Dreams and Such

If there were an easy way to become a skilled dreamer I’d take it. Why? Because that seems to be the easiest form of communication for me. There probably are ways to become one, but I imagine they aren’t easy, but things never are, are they? I plan to make an effort to get working with my tarot cards again, and maybe try scrying. A friend of mine told me that it would probably work well if I was sensitive to subtle changes in my field of vision. I am, that’s how I know there are ghosts in my house lol Or notice an insect or mouse flying or scuttling. Yet somehow I always get surprised by someone sneaking up on me XD

Anyway, scrying, tarot. I honestly need to do more research on scrying and techniques for it, and I’m now of the thought that it may help me to play with my tarot more than use it for reading. The reason is that the cards give me a different impression than the results I get by reading the book, especially because some cards give a very complex reading that can clash or not make sense. I’ve seen the recommendations (even in the book the deck came with) to write about the impressions one gets from the cards and to not be afraid of going with your intuition for interpreting the cards, but I’ve always been of the camp that you should start with the materials before forging your own path. Nevertheless, it may be time to go about path forging because I still have little luck by using the book. It could be lack of practice, but it could just as much be that my cards are trying to speak to me outside of what their creator heard from them. And again, she’s said in the book that one should see what the cards say before reading the booklet.

Now, to the point of this post, as seen in the title. Lately the gods have been quiet. I’ve felt like a lone stone being washed through a river. Tumbling and confused and a bit cold, both in mundane life and spiritual practice. I haven’t really known what to do about either. I feel like my regular devotions are void and stale, but I don’t really know what else to do but those, especially to exit this Fallow Time. The only warm thing in my mundane life has been the job that just ended, my boyfriend Zolfyer (who rarely blogs), Sister and Nephew and friends. Mostly online friends since I rarely get to see my IRL friends. Recently however I had a bit of a surprise. A newbie Kemetic, who just so happens to be a Jackal kid, read a poem/song of mine that I wrote for Anpu. She liked it, she thought it described Him beautifully. And a few days later, I heard a door open and Anpu walked into my head. It was incredibly weird to literally hear a door open in my head and have my god walk in and take a seat. He seemed to be in a very thoughtful and not so talkative mood. So, I said hi, welcome back, and left Him to think thoughts in my brain.

I may or may not have gone to sleep soon after that. I can’t remember exactly when this little interaction happened, but it was definitely sometime this week. During this week me and Z’s car finally got fixed, so it’s no longer overheating, I also got to hear the nonverbal child at work speak several sentences and words very clearly to my extreme delight, my depression finally lifted, and Z and I went to a job fair. Unfortunately my assignment ended, but I can hope that I either get a job soon or get setup with one of the kids I worked with this year in September. Though honestly I can’t say that’s the best thing since i’m also supposed to start school then, which could create a scheduling problem. Here’s hoping for at least a few online classes right? Shit, here’s hoping I get into the nursing program!

Anyway, I clearly remember a dream about feeding people and cooking for people and other helpful big sis/mom things. I don’t remember who or why, at least one person was someone I do not know IRL. I also know it involved very strange things with cheese. I was making mac and cheese and messed up the cheese sauce by looking away from it for just a few moments to fuss at someone, and when I looked back it had turned into a massive unrealistic ball of half-melted cheesiness. To say I wasn’t happy would be an understatement. Considering I’ve never made mac and cheese before I didn’t like that I’d messed up, but I went ahead to try and use it anyway. It didn’t turn out bad, it just turned into pizza when I served it. I feel that’s when it devolved into silliness. I did not like that it had turned into pizza, but everyone else liked it just fine, so maybe this is more about me getting over shit changing from what I had intended after messing it up to something still decent and useful.

The second dream was completely about helping someone. I was online with SatSekhem and another person (I don’t know if they have a blog or what it is, sorry, but I shall refer to her as BR). We were using Skype and speaking to a baby Kemetic (also a Jackal child) about several topics. We were mainly encouraging her and answering questions. One of the questions she asked I can’t remember, but we all got very involved in the answer. It had to do with worship, but unfortunately dialogue always goes first in my dreams. It wasn’t just us three either, all the people from the Kemetic Facebook group I’m part of were in on this, but SS, BR and I were the most talkative and the focus. I do, however, remember the second very important question the newbie asked. “How can you have a full time spiritual life and regular life?”

I don’t remember why she was so frazzled and worked up about that question, but it very much worried her. Well obviously SS and BR had a great answer and they answered her. I was about to give my answer when all of the sudden the view panned out to a third person POV to reveal her standing near me even though she was also on the computer. For some reason we were in the middle of the street, no traffic at all. It was, for the most part, the block my grandmother lives on. No idea why we were there, though I do know I had been in the street simply because I saw I was sitting on asphalt. I tell her to hold on while I type the answer up so that she can have to read over after I give my answer in words to her later. This is very interesting to me because I’m hardly an expert on balancing spiritual and mundane life, much less one who could have a serious and developed answer. And I was very ferocious and determined to answer all of her questions and help her be sure of herself. That’s not outside of my personality, but considering I’m not juggling the spiritual and mundane very well IRL it’s baffling.

Then, she started to ask me about the neighborhood and my family. I’ve no idea why, she just did, I guess we had talked about that before the dream started and now that she was there she could ask in more detail. I told her about where I was and who lived nearby, and conveniently GM and Sister came out of the house to get in the car. Neither of them drive and no one owns a car like the one they were getting into btw. I take her over to introduce them all and then my mom shows up. I introduce them only to be woken up by Z calling out to me. I had talked in my sleep and was wondering who “Ms Carolina/California” was. The girl’s name was apparently Carolina. I don’t know anyone by that name. There are plenty of explanations for this dream, but I have no idea which one to go with. I am only more confused considering the baby Jackal Kemetic who just found my blog.

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