Lately I’ve felt like writing and I don’t really know what to write about. I feel like it would be helpful to actually use my blog since it’s been sitting dead and quiet for a while. I’m going to start school in September, which is good, because as my mom says “two years are gonna pass by anyway, might as well do something that’ll help you.” And she’s right. At first I was hmm-hawing over what I would go to school for or if I really would go, but, I have decided. Nursing is what I’m pursuing and I plan to do well. Here’s hoping I get one of the seats in the program because the particular one I’m aiming for is quite competitive.
I’ve been doing ok in the spiritual department lately. I’m still not really sure what I’m doing or supposed to be doing. I’m not entirely sure how to ask. Or who to ask. I figure asking the Netjer would of course work, but I’m not sure I’ll like the answer. Or if they’ll answer, since, ya know, quiet Anubis and all. I do have a few thoughts, but I can’t say what they’ll really do or mean. I figure if I make it a point to do things they’ll like I’ll at least have devotional actions down right? Right? That’s easy to do for Aset, because She’s a very home-centered deity. Even my job can be dedicated to Her, because I work with children. Now that I think a bit about it, I guess in a fashion that could be dedicated to Anpu as well. He is a guide after all and He makes things whole. Helping special needs children, guiding and wholeness, makes sense to a degree.
I still feel distant from the gods. Still like I’m missing something here. What is it? Something important is going over my head. I look at other people and they interact and get requests and instructions and aggravation from their gods. Am I not interacting enough? I think that may be it. I still have a ways to go. Still a puppy over here. Luckily Anpu is patient, because a part of the reason I am caught up in life. I’m still figuring so much out and worrying over money to pay for everything, especially now that school is coming. I don’t want to be one of those people who is always nagging someone or a god or divination for the answers and not trying to figure things out for myself, but I feel like I’m being told that it’s ok to ask I guess? At least it’s easy to hear late at night like this.
Anyway, nice to see you alls. I shall be going to bed now.