C is for Commitment

Ok, I know I’m ultra late with C for the PBP, but better late than never right?

So, commitment. Dictionary.com violates the rules of defining words (they use the word being defined in its definition) for the first two definitions, but the third and fourth are better. It defines commitment as: “3. the act of […] pledging, or engaging oneself. 4. 

a pledge or promise; obligation.”
Now, I’ll admit that I’m not fond of the word obligation, because it has certain connotations that can be negative. It tends to suggest force and lack of consent, something that must be done despite all desire and will to do otherwise, or being manipulated. However, it clearly doesn’t always mean that. For instance you have an obligation to feed your children, they are yours and they deserve not to starve. You should also, in theory, want to feed them, thus making it seem like less of an obligation and more voluntary.
Nonetheless, obligation has a purpose to it, especially in a religious context. You see, as a…something…to the gods you kinda make different types of commitments and obligations to them. It depends on your relationship with a particular deity. Of course, I’m talking about religious commitment in regards to deity relations, but you can be and make religious commitments without involving deities at all.
I hope to have a long term relationship with my deities, so I will have a different kind of commitment and resident obligations than someone who just needs a deity for a season. One of my commitments is daily rites. I made that up myself to Them. Why? Well for one thing because I want to be closer to Them and disciplined, but also because I want Them to see and know that I am committed, even when I don’t feel like it or have a hard time. Unless they direct me to stay away I will do my best to show up. Of course, the real trouble with this is finding ways to create small sacred space when I’m not in my room. I often spend weekends and random days during the week not in my house. Gm and Pop-Pop’s are frequent visiting locations and the former not only stays up late but can’t be around incense or candles (not to mention I share a room with Sister and Nephew) and the latter doesn’t know I’m not Christian anymore. Still struggling with how to do shrine time at these places.
I found recently that I was willing to take the obligation this commitment brings. Even though I was super pissed and did not want to be in shrine I made myself go (this was about two or three weeks ago). I had to keep repeating to myself that it wasn’t about me, it was about them, and I had to keep things short (just couldn’t concentrate), but I was there. I’m keeping this up, I made a commitment, I have an obligation and I have to figure out this particular blockade.



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