So, I know I’ve been gone for a while. Quite a bit has happened; not all of what I wanted to talk about I remember. I remember having an epiphany that will probably make life a little easier. This had to do with something Aubs wrote a little while ago (or was it Devo?), about blocking oneself. It made me think that perhaps for some things I am blocking myself. That’s when the epiphany happened and my brain spilled the beans about some things I already knew but didn’t really think about. Things I’ll be working on and may do an execration for later in the week or something. I like burning things but I don’t have anything nifty to burn things in, so I may just have to go fireless (boohoo).
I was also thinking of doing a spell for jobs and stuff. Right now TB and I are still with the staffing company and it’s getting harder to save as more bills pop up, like his school bill. I did ask Anpu and Set if they could tell me what’s up with all this stuff and what I could do to find my way on this wibblywobbly path, but I got a confusing dream as an answer. Right now I’m just trying to go about life and see what I can do to make things easier.
Speaking of prayer and magic, I moved my room around. Let me tell you it was hard >.> I’m not all that strong and I have solid wood bedroom furniture. Even completely empty with all the drawers removed it took a lot of effort to move my bureau from one side of the room to another. Add in the bed, the bookcase, cleaning, and moving smaller items I was exhausted by the end. However! Moving my room around enabled me to carve out a space to pray at and light candles on. It’s not much, I have a trunk that serves as a great flat surface and there’s only candles there, but it’s an actual space. Now I just wish I had some statues (can you see Set and Anpu roll their eyes and sigh? I can XD)
I’m likely going to start looking for new jobs soon. There’s nothing wrong with the one I have really. I like the kid I work with (even though he seeks to destroy my nerves at times) and I like the place I work. The problem really is how much I make and how easily the job can be taken from me. I honestly don’t make enough money, not for the time I spend there and the travel I do or how much effort the child requires. And certainly not for a job that isn’t permanent. I’m just conflicted because the kid does need someone and he’s doing better with me there and is getting attached to me (not to say I’m not getting attached to him).
Really the person I’m worried about is TB though. He needs a job in his field and isn’t getting one. All the effort he put in school, he really enjoys graphic design too. He’s been looking since he graduated and he is having worse luck with cases than I am. I just want him to find a job in his field that he’ll like. I’m hoping and praying that one of these recent firms he’s contacted will respond positively and hire him. He could use the confidence boost anyway and he would be ecstatic to have a job that he likes and that is steady and permanent. Hell, I would be beyond ecstatic at that, because he would be happy and it’s what he wants and likes.
On yet another note, I think Aset has decided to back away until I’m actually ready for Her. The other night when I went to pray and light Her candle it refused to light. Like, the lighter wouldn’t light and when it did the wick wouldn’t catch. I told Her I got the hint and I haven’t felt Her presence since. That’s ok I guess, I still liked having Her around, but it’s not like I’m going to be jumping into the mommy and wife roles anytime soon. Guess I’m back to the boys’ club huh? Well, now I’m going to go to bed because I’ve stayed up way too late working on a new resume and setting up accounts on job hunting websites as a childcare provider. We’ll see what the morning brings I guess!