Asthma Again and Goddesses

So yesterday I finally got my room back. Yup, my sister moved into mine when she had Nephew and her room got turned into storage. Of course that meant when I got back to my mom’s house I had no place to sleep. Yesterday we finally finished cleaning up and arranging her room so now I have mine back! The only downside is I am allergic to dust, among other things, and that is one of the things that always sets off an asthma attack. Now, luckily my asthma has been relatively well behaved since I last wrote about it, though it’s still way too angry at life, I know this because my inhaler is nearly half empty (yay for a counter on it).

Anyway, the moving and cleaning and such set my asthma off as I expected. Now, as anyone with a chronic lung disease knows (or hell, something short term like a bad cold or pneumonia or flu) knows how exhausting it is. Not just that, but it completely disrupts sleep and restfulness. Like last night. I actually often dream of having an asthma attack if I’m having one IRL and last night was no exception.

It started off with me traveling with Sister and Boyfriend and some other random happenings. During this time there was a scene where I was in the car with Boyfriend and Sister and said something about Serqet. That I should pray to Her because this was getting to the end point. I actually prayed to Her in this dream, something like “Oh Lady of Lungs, Guardian of Breathing, come close to me”. We then went to Sister’s friend’s house who lived near my grandmother (this person doesn’t exist IRL) and she’s nice and kinda energetic and for some reason is trusted with babysitting Nephew. Now at this point I’m talking to her and she’s talking about a whole bunch of strange stuff that I can’t remember. I remember around this time I took my dose of albuterol for sudden symptoms. It seemed to work and the friend invited us out.

I don’t know why we accepted, but we did and I got into a van with her and Boyfriend and Sister got into another one. There was a bunch of people in both vans besides us and we went to this big house where people were outside and inside praying and listening to sermons. They weren’t Christians though, they looked more like Muslims in fact. I don’t know what this meant but I actually didn’t go listen to any of it, in fact I went to find Boyfriend and Sister. I was complaining about my asthma again and how I didn’t want to use my inhaler again, it was too early. I did eventually, but my asthma was just getting worse through the course of this dream.

Eventually I ended up using the inhaler four more times, each one not working and my breathing just getting harder. It was a horrible feeling, especially trying to use the inhaler and not even feeling like you’re inhaling the medicine into your lungs but just into your mouth. At a certain point the dream even had me going into my drawer to get my spacer that I haven’t used in years to try and make it easier to breathe in the medicine. I never use it mainly because I know how to properly use my inhaler without it, but I was hoping it would help and it didn’t.

Eventually I just went to find Boyfriend and Sister again (I had been exploring the house and talking to people) and had them call 911. Now, it takes a lot to get me to ask for an ambulance, I have a ton of tips and tricks that I’ve learned over the years to stay out of the ER, but this was just like no, I won’t be stupid, just call the hospital. In the meantime I was somehow in my pajamas and wanted to change, which was like pulling teeth because for some reason I had no regular clothes of my own and Sister wouldn’t give me any of hers. Eventually she did and I set about finding someplace to change.

I went upstairs and found a huge bathroom, but it was open to the staircase and had a strange window on one wall. I tried to change as fast as I could before people came upstairs, but it wasn’t fast enough. Some dude came up and was just staring at me before trying to talk to me and grab me. I just could not get my clothes to cooperate and this asshat was creepin on me hardcore. Others started to come upstairs though and made him get back, but it was still an issue of privacy. Even though he got back, he kept staring and so did others. Eventually I got my clothes on and went downstairs where I met up with Boyfriend and Sister and went outside.

I asked about the ambulance, it still wasn’t here and that made no sense since we weren’t in East Jablip or something. Outside was a playground and children, including a mom and her two kids. I overheard their conversation with each other, both the woman’s daughter and son were having asthma attacks and they were waiting for an ambulance too. There’s weren’t too bad, not nearly as advanced as mine, but enough to warrant an ER trip all the same. The slow ass ambulance finally arrives, but with no lights on and just one. So then it was making the decision between who would go first, me or the kids. I looked at my fingernails since I had felt dizzy for a while and saw they were blue. Cyanosis. You have to be pretty fucking bad to get cyanotic, to have so little oxygen and breath that your nails are turning blue (lips and skin blueness are also a sign of cyanosis).

I showed my nails to the EMT who was acting like he was around kids who got an arm scrape as opposed to three people suffocating to death and he said “dingy, cyanosis, come on”. I woke up as I was getting in the ambulance. I was, in fact, wheezing substantially and was eventually forced to get out of bed and retrieve my inhaler. To say I wasn’t happy about being up at 7am from breathing troubles and a headache is an understatement. The asthma has bothered me at least half the day.

This of course had me waking up with Serket on my mind. The last time I wrote about my asthma, Helmsman-of-Inepu made a suggestion of talking to the goddess Serket. She is said to be a goddess of the lungs and of breathing (and water and scorpions and other venomous creatures) and could be a useful netjer to pester about lung health. He also suggested looking into medical heka about it as well. Now, I don’t know much about heka, or about this goddess, but ya know what? I’m willing to find out and knock on Her door. I’ve had this mild feeling that there was another goddess I wanted to get to know anyway, and She and Aset are friendly, so yeah. Conveniently, I found one of my asthma books that I never finished reading (like, I didn’t even finish chapter one O.o) last night, so I’m gonna get to reading that so I can do more on the mundane plane. Tonight or tomorrow I’ll make offerings to my three established deities and open a conversation with Serket. Maybe I’ll pose a question on magic to, well anybody now that I think of it XD Set, Aset and Anpu all have magic, the Jackal and The Lady are especially well known for it. Who knows, I’ll give it a shot. Wish me luck, I’ll have to make quite a few changes in my life and eating to move this along to better lung health.

And one last thing, completely off topic, I hope all the children from the shooting are resting in peace. I pray for their souls and for their families. I can’t even begin to imagine the pain that must be felt. Let this serve as a starting point for peace and peace talks that actually mean something and get somewhere in our country. May Anpu lead the dead to rest and Aset embrace the grieving families.

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