I’ve been out of work for about a week and a half now. I lost the case on less than credible reasoning and I’m still worried about the chibi. I was angry for a while, but I’m ok now, I’m just hoping and praying that he’ll be ok. Wanna know what part of the reason is that got me past the pissy stage? If you guessed it had something to do with Set, you’d be correct.
Now, I calmed down because Zolfyer is a very rational presence for me as well as through prayer and such. But the other day I was reading another blog, Per Ma: House of the Lion, and she was talking about Set. Now, it made me realize that Set has been rather quiet since I let Him in to my life (knock on wood, knock on wood, KNOCK ON WOOD) and something Shine said on her blog really struck me.
But I know I need to find some way to pull myself into better shape, to be strong, and to not give up even when things look bleak. I need to learn how to do what needs to be done, even if it’s unpopular, even if it’s difficult. This seems to me to be one of Set’s many realms. He didn’t give up until there was no other option, and even then, he won out in the end, in a way. After all, he’s one of the strongest fighters in Ra’s boat! Without him, A/pep would be even tougher to defeat.
Which just goes to show that you may not end up where you intend to be, but you could end up where you’re needed most. But you can’t give up.
The Lord of the Red Desert is rough around the edges, but dammit, he knows his stuff.
That second to last line was really striking though. It’s so regular and yet, it really broke through like striking a match in the dark. “You may not end up where you intend, but you could end up where you’re needed most.” The fact I was taken off the case right as the kid was starting to get confidence and openness and the reasons behind the removal weren’t very good, well there’s something going on here. It may not be what I expected and I may not like it now, but the fact the chibi is making progress may be a sign that he will be ok without me and that now it’s time for me to go help another child.
I don’t know, but I feel there’s something in store for me next. It’s too quiet, like wondering what toddlers are doing in the next room. There’s always something going on in that silence, the silence of a testing room, or hidden in the cold wind before a bad storm (although I have to say I never understood the “silence before the storm” metaphor; it’s hardly silent before a storm). That lightning hit something, even if you don’t hear any thunder.
For your enjoyment, one of my favorite songs, and one that I think both Set and Anpu can greatly appreciate, especially Set. It certainly inspires me, it’s one of the songs I blast on the rare occasion I can do it on my speakers. It’s beautiful and soulful and wraps itself around my mind. I may just blast it tomorrow.