So, I am officially 21! My birthday was the sixth, and it was quite nice. TB (Zolfyer for those who don’t know) came to see me and hung out for a the day. We had a very interesting day, he joined me in shrine and played with my tarot deck that day. I have no idea what he really felt about being in shrine besides being unsure. It was certainly unique trying to get him to keep the names and genders of my deities straight. I think he’s got it though. To be fair, Aset and Set can be confusing because of their similar names. I think Set likes him lol.
Anyway, the cards seemed to be very friendly to him. He asked a question and they answered quite straightforwardly, like, more than they answer me and I know my cards like me this time! He certainly liked them, though he’s still getting used to the idea of their meanings and putting each one together according to a spread. At a certain point he decided to use them to pose questions to Anpu, Set and Aset. Set, well He responded very snarkily. I was rollin when Zolfyer realized that Set was answering him sarcastically. It was funny XD
Anpu gave him a mixed answer, sort of an “I’m here, but I don’t (or won’t) answer that.” Aset was more straightforward, but She was also giving him a “it’s up to you” answer. Of the twelve cards he pulled, six were Major Arcana. He was asking if Christianity was still the right path for him. Set very clearly said “figure it out on your own!” and not very nicely XD Zolfyer thinks He’s a jerk, but it’s like, that’s so typical Set and it was funny lol
Today was nice as well. Went out for a date, had my first drink as a legal adult! It was tasty, a mango daiquiri. I also acquired new books (as if I need more right?), one is Lewellyn’s beginner scrying book (I know, I know, but not everything Lewellyn publishes is garbage), and one called The Secret Life of Plants. I love plants, so I figured, why not? It looks interesting at least, though my family is giving me WTF looks over it, especially since I spent nearly twenty dollars on it XD
Whatever, I will cultivate a relationship with plant spirits! They’re awesome after all. I’m also gonna see if I can get any results scrying. Tarot seems to be a bit tricky and touch and go, but I’m gonna keep practicing. I may start reading my book on clairsentience again. The trouble here is keeping consistent with things like meditation and visualization practice. Tends to be hard with others in the house who may be up or trying to sleep while you’re trying to get privacy. Still, mere excuses, I can do this!
Speaking of which, I had a mini epiphany last night. I was up trying to tarot communicate with Anpu. And I realized that I don’t know how to listen even though I’m trying very hard. It’s frustrating and enlightening to realize this. I’m not used to listening, both because I never knew what to listen for and didn’t practice. Maybe I didn’t practice because I didn’t know I needed to, there’s something action-oriented about Christianity and their approach to “listening” to God. There’s this whole thing about sitting still to listen, but you’re still not really told how to sit still or listen, and there’s this expectation that God will show His answer in actions and not necessarily in any personal communication. In fact, too personal or direct communication is treated with suspicion (it is in paganism too, but not to the same degree and for slightly different reasons).
I don’t know, I just realized that I’ve got quite a road ahead as a newbie. I don’t even know how to listen, much less anything else. *sigh* guess I’ll just keep trying eh?