A Little Day

So, I am officially 21! My birthday was the sixth, and it was quite nice. TB (Zolfyer for those who don’t know) came to see me and hung out for a the day. We had a very interesting day, he joined me in shrine and played with my tarot deck that day. I have no idea what he really felt about being in shrine besides being unsure. It was certainly unique trying to get him to keep the names and genders of my deities straight. I think he’s got it though. To be fair, Aset and Set can be confusing because of their similar names. I think Set likes him lol.

Anyway, the cards seemed to be very friendly to him. He asked a question and they answered quite straightforwardly, like, more than they answer me and I know my cards like me this time! He certainly liked them, though he’s still getting used to the idea of their meanings and putting each one together according to a spread. At a certain point he decided to use them to pose questions to Anpu, Set and Aset. Set, well He responded very snarkily. I was rollin when Zolfyer realized that Set was answering him sarcastically. It was funny XD

Anpu gave him a mixed answer, sort of an “I’m here, but I don’t (or won’t) answer that.” Aset was more straightforward, but She was also giving him a “it’s up to you” answer. Of the twelve cards he pulled, six were Major Arcana. He was asking if Christianity was still the right path for him. Set very clearly said “figure it out on your own!” and not very nicely XD Zolfyer thinks He’s a jerk, but it’s like, that’s so typical Set and it was funny lol

Today was nice as well. Went out for a date, had my first drink as a legal adult! It was tasty, a mango daiquiri. I also acquired new books (as if I need more right?), one is Lewellyn’s beginner scrying book (I know, I know, but not everything Lewellyn publishes is garbage), and one called The Secret Life of Plants. I love plants, so I figured, why not? It looks interesting at least, though my family is giving me WTF looks over it, especially since I spent nearly twenty dollars on it XD

Whatever, I will cultivate a relationship with plant spirits! They’re awesome after all. I’m also gonna see if I can get any results scrying. Tarot seems to be a bit tricky and touch and go, but I’m gonna keep practicing. I may start reading my book on clairsentience again. The trouble here is keeping consistent with things like meditation and visualization practice. Tends to be hard with others in the house who may be up or trying to sleep while you’re trying to get privacy. Still, mere excuses, I can do this!

Speaking of which, I had a mini epiphany last night. I was up trying to tarot communicate with Anpu. And I realized that I don’t know how to listen even though I’m trying very hard. It’s frustrating and enlightening to realize this. I’m not used to listening, both because I never knew what to listen for and didn’t practice. Maybe I didn’t practice because I didn’t know I needed to, there’s something action-oriented about Christianity and their approach to “listening” to God. There’s this whole thing about sitting still to listen, but you’re still not really told how to sit still or listen, and there’s this expectation that God will show His answer in actions and not necessarily in any personal communication. In fact, too personal or direct communication is treated with suspicion (it is in paganism too, but not to the same degree and for slightly different reasons).

I don’t know, I just realized that I’ve got quite a road ahead as a newbie. I don’t even know how to listen, much less anything else. *sigh* guess I’ll just keep trying eh?

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8 thoughts on “A Little Day

  1. Happy Bday! A strawberry daiquiri was my first (legal) foray into alcoholic beverages.

    I’ve been at this for two years and still don’t really know how to listen. It’s almost like you “listen” in the sense that you’re sensitive to shifting energies around you. And if you’re looking, sometimes the Netjeru do show themselves through actions. For example, I was having a miserable afternoon because I had to have $150 docked from my paycheck. Suddenly, a song called “You Gotta Keep Your Head Up” started to play. I thanked Bast and am pretty sure I got some kind of “you’re welcome! :)” in return.

    When people say “stillness”, it’s almost like they mean quietness. It’s like you become dark, impassive, eternal on the inside. You set aside all your thoughts and, bit by bit, who you are falls away. Then. . . things become somehow different. Hard to explain. There’s just a space that you occupy and sometimes there are others in the space with you, or maybe you’re just alone.

    Keeeeeep tryin’. You’ll get it. ^^

    • well it’s not that I’ve never had the Netjeru show themselves in actions, just that if I’m actively trying to “talk” and I get a lot of static even when I’m clearing my head it gets a little frustrating. Part of the reason I’m looking for better ways to talk with Them is so that I can learn to listen better or at least find a clearer channel ya know? Like with my tarot last night, Anpu was definitely trying to talk to me but I just didn’t understand what He was saying. I looked at the cards and read the meanings but I still didn’t get it. I felt like I would eventually or that my subconscious was getting it, but my consciousness was lagging behind. It was frustrating for both sides, though, I could barely feel that. Anpu is not easily frustrated (exasperation is a different story lol). Still working on the stillness part. Sometimes I can be still, most of the time I can’t. Stillness makes my mind nervous.

      • Well, you are trying to communicate with divine beings. 😉 It’s not supposed to be easy. It’s an unwritten rule or something.

        If you’re not having luck reading cards, it might be the symbolism isn’t suitable for what you’re doing. I could never communicate with Bast via tarot, either. Then again, you might be trying to understand too quickly. Perhaps ask a question, let the asnwer percolate for a couple of days, and then try to understand what you’re being told.

        Stillness takes getting used to. What might help you is to do something to focus your mind. You could try out what I do:

        1. Get into a comfortable position during a time where you’re not likely to be disturbed.
        2. Close your eyes and take a few deep, rapid breaths. Don’t do too many or you could trigger your asthma. 2 – 4 seems effective enough.
        3. Starting with your foot, trace a path up to your lower back. Sense the path branching out and coming together in places: five places at the toes before coming together at the foot, winding up the calf, pooling at the knee, crawling up the thigh.
        4. Do the same with the other foot, then trace the path up your back, down either arm, and finally, to your heaad.
        5. Once you reach the head, imagine a huge beam of light forming along the back of your head and spine. Imagine it burrowing deep, deep down into the earth, rooting you to that spot.
        6. Here’s the tough part. Let yourself relax and see darkness with your mind’s eye. You should feel still, relaxed. Try reaching out to Anpu, or to another Netjer (this works best if you’re in front of an open shrine). If at any point you lose focus, repeat the exercise again.

      • well the problem then becomes what would be suitable imagery? And I can’t draw, so homemade cards are out of the question (and I have to say I really like my tarot cards and they do like me back, I just don’t know how to connect all the dots.) I’ll have to try that exercise, though considering my shrine space is in a shared room I’ll be stuck doing it tomorrow when I could still be interrupted. I’m tired, this hard stuff is not fun lol

      • Suitable imagery is whatever works best for you. What you might try doing is going through your tarot cards and “assigning” each one to a different Netjeru or different Kemetic concept and then, when trying to communicate with Anpu, you can use those interpretations rather than the traditional tarot interpretations, if that makes sense. It will take a lot of work, but aren’t the Netjeru worth it? XD

      • I can’t imagine reassigning meanings to 78 cards O.O but if that’s what it takes I’ll do it lol besides I do know that certain cards give off vibes I don’t always expect or that contradict their traditional meanings. Who knows. But, I will agree the Netjeru are worth it lol

  2. It’s pretty cool that all three readings were “figure it out for yourself!”
    You can always try Lenormand cards, Aine. There are only 36 in a deck, and they’re a lot more practical in their outlook.

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