So, these last two weeks have been one of health. Physical health mostly, but mental health as well. My Crazy showed up and was a major factor in a big fight between me and TB, which has since been resolved. However, Crazy also contributed to me exploding at Anpu and Set. I really got upset with Them because I feel like my life is just one big ball of chaos and isfet and I don’t feel helped in any way. I was frustrated to the max and honestly I still am. Like I just always have something getting in the way or coming up right when I think I’m on the way to my goals. Like moving out with TB. We’ve had to officially move our move out date back because the most affordable place requires him to have a job even though we can afford it just on my paycheck. Our friend backed out again and now it’s just a mess again. We’re managing to hold on to what little money we have, but all we need is something serious and our savings will get wiped again.
Then, my asthma flares. Yup, the lungs that’ve been pretty calm for months decided that they weren’t happy anymore. Meanwhile I’m still between doctors and running out of medicine for my nebulizer. Not that it’s solving the problem, as anyone with moderate to severe asthma knows. Did I mention that the prescription for the nebby medicine expired about five days ago? Yeah, it’s like that >.> I started a thread on The Cauldron and was happy to find another person who knew exactly what I was feeling and talking about. The fear and frustration when your lungs just hate everything about you, the anxiety and pain of an attack, the annoyance of doctor and medicine navigation, the frustration of people who aren’t exactly as supportive and compassionate as you need. It’s nice having someone else who is up at 3 am using their medicine because they can’t breathe enough to fucking sleep.
Today was better than the last two weeks have been. I’ll admit, it was too dry for it to be a perfect lung day, but it was still lung approved and that was nice. I’ll have to remember to bring water with me tomorrow, especially since the bus stop was dusty. I also have to look into HEPA filters now, because that would really help my case. The environmental allergies I have include dust, smoke and pollen as well as mold. I often have an asthma attack after cleaning my room, because dust is that big of a deal, and I live with a smoker. I could at least use one for my room, however, they’re all pretty expensive and some of them are really big. So if you’re reading this and have any suggestions please offer them up.
The kids at work are at least mostly well behaved and make me feel cheerful. Kinda hard to be mad at life when a kid says “Ms Rachael I’m making a blue ice cream man! :D”. And then follow it up with “snowflakes” and “hourglasses”. Yes the kids have given me such things, I keep them in my purse lol
A couple days ago I had a dream I can’t remember. I only know that there was a scene in which I was floating and the fiery sensation that tells me there’s an Other being around. It wasn’t a bad dream or one that made me feel, well scolded for lack of a better term. It gave me the impression of a more informative dream than anything particularly emotional. Still haven’t been able to get more than that, though I had a dream about a hospital and one of my most recurring characters last night. To say the least another character has told me more of her story and so I was writing that.
Oh, please send a little energy and love to my plants. I don’t think my basil will survive, it looks ill. I moved my lavender and oregano into my room where they can get more reliable sun. Unfortunately that’s atop my shrine space, not that I’m really using it, though curiously I don’t think the gods atop it mind. I’m trying to keep those plants healthy, especially through the winter, since it would be nice to plant the lavender in the yard next spring. Who knows, I might keep them as houseplants.
As a last thing, can someone give me some information on Aset? Especially in their personal dealings with Her? Ciao all.