Am I Crazy?

Today’s title brought to you by LIttle Fish.

It’s been a few days since I updated my blog. Quick update on what’s been going on since my last post: Sister and Nephew went home, huge fight with TB, made up with TB, continued having fun working at the kindergarten, and spent four days at TB dorm.

Yesterday was mother’s day, I will admit, I felt a little left out. To be honest, I’d love to be a mom. I’m not silly enough to think that’s what I need to be happy or that it’s ALLSOTOTALLYAWESOME without it’s downsides. I’m not naive enough to think I’d be an excellent one right out the gate or that it’ll be easy. Or that it’s wise for me to seek that right now. But dang it I love kids and want my own. Hence kindergarten job. I also started thinking about going back to school for nursing (pediatrics obviously). I’ve found a couple potential candidate schools, ones that’ll take me as a high school graduate because my credits at other schools are useless and unavailable anyway since I owe them money. And they don’t take that long and prepare me for the NCLEX-RN, which is important because I don’t have much money and can’t afford to spend four years in school right now.

Speaking of school, TB is graduating in six days. He’ll have a Bachelor’s of Arts in Graphic Design and will be on Dean’s List for two semesters in a row. To say I’m proud of him is an understatement :3

Also, this post was supposed to be up yesterday, but alas, my internet decided it wanted to be a bitch. I have gotten the issue resolved and also have a brand new, free router on the way to replace the crappy one. Today was payday, which was nice because I was able to get three small bowls and a candlestick at the dollar store.

Now, the point of the title has to do with spiritual matters as opposed to worldly ones, hence the double category for this post. I haven’t done a ritual in a few weeks. Mainly due to the desperate need to clean my room and work, which takes up a significant portion of day, mainly due to how long it takes to get to work. Nonetheless, I still pray and dedicate my meals to the Jackals. The thing is, bugs keep showing up. And not cool or pretty or uncreepy bugs like ladybugs, butterflies, and worms. No, we’re talking bedbugs and roaches. It’s not like the house is suddenly overrun, but they’ve been showing up. It has me wondering whether I offended Someone by paying attention to them or not paying attention to them.

Of course, now I’m getting the distinct impression that’s ridiculous. I’ve also lately been getting the impression that Anpu wants to have a relationship more along the lines of a long distance friend. I’m not sure why. I just feel like He cares but doesn’t want to work with me. Like He appreciates the affection, but doesn’t particularly want it. I think. I feel like He’d still appreciation a candle and some snacks and of course to say hi and talk. I also said hi to Sekhmet this morning (that’s who the third bowl and candlestick are for). Hopefully She responds, I think we’d have fun together. I’ll probably continue to offer to her until I get a “hey what’s up?” or a “leave me alone please”.


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